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help!!!

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help!!! last won the day on January 10

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  1. Signed Alfie Payne in my TNS save, such a GOAT in the lower leagues
  2. In all honesty, we're a mile apart from one another as it is, so the odds on me having shown up already are probably pretty high. Didn't want to give her the satisfaction of thinking I'd ever swipe right on her again anyway
  3. Yeah, I think I took completely the wrong approach to exactly how I wanted to end it. I was in school on Wednesday and just kind of thinking about how to go about bringing it up. I then realised she still hadn't asked how Tuesday had gone and the more I thought about it the more I got annoyed by everything. I'm not a confrontational person at all and when I know I'm about to get angry I really have to force myself to just say things like 'Yeah', 'Sure' etc and agree with people but on a level where they know that I really don't and I just want to end the conversation right there. Apparently I am, according to friends (and students) an absolute savage and at times I do go a bit below the belt when we're playing pool or FIFA etc. Anyway, I just thought about it and realised that I didn't want to waste time and would use her own silent treatment against her (obviously, not what I had planned, but given the circumstances thought it would be appropriate). Long story short, by the time I got home from the gym and downloaded Tinder, set my location / age range settings up... I'll give you all two guesses as to who the first person to appear was? Not sure if she had been on it before or not, but can't imagine we'd both have the same thought to do it on the same night. So, in my head, it's justified
  4. I didn't end up going in the end, just went to the gym instead at 7pm for an hour or so. Before I went I had already removed her from Facebook / deleted her number. Had a whatsapp message at about 7:15pm asking where I was. Didn't read it. Deleted the conversation. Tinder re-downloaded
  5. Sometimes some people deserve a bit of their own medicine, wouldn't wish it on anyone else, if that's more apt ;)!
  6. Radio silent again tonight. I have tried ringing a couple of times since around 8pm (fuck knows why, she never answers her phone anyway) and absolutely nothing, no text back or anything like that. Whatsapp has said she's been online, as has Facebook. I find it really shit that someone can be like this. It sounds awful (although, does it really?), but I hope that one day someone does similar to her, because I wouldn't wish this on anyone in the world. Such an awful feeling and time for her to be doing it. EDIT: Just want to say thank you really for all the support and advice you lot have given to me, I know I don't post much on here but I lurk a lot and get some decent laughs from the discussions. Down to a tee, you gentlemen are some of the finest out there If anyone is near the Wigan area, I'd be glad to pay for some beers or something
  7. Yeah, think I have to agree. Think I'd have sent a quick message this morning along the lines of 'hope everything goes okay today' and that would be that. I'm not friends on Facebook with some of my family either, so not sure that really matters either. My mum is a weird one when it comes to that though and has to read every notification that she gets on her phone in that instant. Cancer. Not sure the gf can be blamed for that.
  8. Yeah, I mean, I say 2/3 weeks that's literally the timeframe of my Grandma dying and then the NYE thing. She did try and cancel Xmas all together because I might not be up for meeting her family because they're really Xmassy (they absolutely are...!) and that everyone else would be happy etc. Yeah, maybe like the whole having had a drink and then family bigging shit up has made me a bit blind to this. I suppose the way I'm looking at it is that it's the first relationship I've been in for a few years and in all honesty, am getting to that point where I am wanting to settle down and meet someone. More or less everything that we've been doing / talking about since mid / end of August has been really nice and one of those points where fuck knows if it's too early to say it, but genuinely I was starting to get those warm fuzzy feelings of her being someone I could settle down with and now all this shit has really put a dampener on it. Definitely going to try and take the men on the internet advice though... As of yet haven't even had a message asking how today has gone, which seems a bit shit. Had already had texts / phone calls by the time I'd got home from other side of the family and friends. Lumping these two together because just copy and past the above: 'More or less everything that we've been doing / talking about since mid / end of August (can't really remember when we first messaged, but before I went back to school anyway) has been really nice and one of those points where fuck knows if it's too early to say it, but genuinely getting those warm fuzzy feelings of her being the one and now all this shit has really put a dampener on it. ' Forum romantics can have that glimmer of hope... She has been vile on two or three occasions where we've had a disagreement and she's really taken it to heart. One of them was basically that I said I wasn't going to watch I'm a celeb - because reality TV is absolute crap, and basically she didn't want to watch it on her own. She got a little shouty and I ended up just walking out of her house and going home - she apologised for it but said that this was the kind of things that people are supposed to do and compromise to show that you care about people and that she really feels strongly about it. Eventually watched about 3 episodes, but fell asleep in each one of them. However, she's also looked to arrange this comedian and then was talking about doing something in April together over the Easter weekend. Yeah, definitely not a shouty / fighty person and I always like to be amicable about stuff, I absolutely hate confrontation as it is but apparently I have a good knack of sorting things out without things ever getting heated and nothing ever good comes from name calling or that ilk. I think really I need to have that conversation with her tomorrow about whether or not she really wants this or, as you say, is she a bit overwhelmed with everything. I've no idea what goes on in her head tbh and I did ask over NY whether or not this was what she still wanted and she just said 'stop overthinking things'. I am leaning to the point of just saying that I should just end it and be to the point tomorrow, explaining that I'm not happy with the way she has been over the last 2/3 weeks. After a bit of a conversation with my mum this afternoon when we've got home she has said that she doesn't want to see me get treated like shit, but also has seen that I'm happy with her, but this is absolutely the final straw in her eyes and anything funny after this means it definitely is over. (Definitely not getting my mum in as a moderator though!) Her argument is the same in that she probably has no idea how to behave, but also called her insane / autistic / bi-polar at different points in the conversation My mum did also say that apparently women get a bit weird about Facebook statuses and we've not altered ours so that this could be a turning point in our relationship as despite us having acknowledge and said that this is where it's at, making it Facebook official means that it's the real deal. God knows what that has to do with anything, but there we go. Mum advice is to change my relationship status on facebook, despite rarely going on it and having a handful of friends on there
  9. Public space, easy to have a nice conversation / break up and if anything happens to me it's on CCTV
  10. Everything went as well as could do - thanks! Bit worse for wear now, but lots of nice conversations / funny moments in the day etc. Fwiw, as someone asked, she is also 28. Doesn't sit well with me being with someone younger, especially as a teacher I'm just a touch frustrated by it all, as we've always sent messages on a daily basis - even if they are only pathetic little 'hope your day has gone okay' type stuff, because some conversations are just better in person, as we all know, but it's just nice to know that you're not being forgotten (mainly her that starts these conversations on a weekend too, if we've not been together). Radio silence is completely unusual from either of us, but it does sound like she either has a) cold feet over the whole thing or b) has no idea how to acknowledge that someone has died and how to just be there for someone. Not entirely sure on the medical condition - some weird name thing, but does take several tablets a day! My intention, Gerry, is to get a sit down drink (prefer cups to paper / polystyrene - plus, save the planet etc), I can always leave the drink there anyway if things end quickly enough. I do want to see why she has been shit over the last 2/3 weeks as she was very flakey with NYE arrangements and in the end nothing happened. If she genuinely says that she isn't expecting me to break it off, then maybe there's potential for it to still work - I've genuinely no idea on how these things work and maybe it gives her a wake up call. Definitely NOT getting married or having kids in the near future though However, I would think at 28 years old and having gone through this situation a couple of years ago too, that she would be a bit more understanding rather than just having the emotional range of a teaspoon. I'm not expecting her to be at my beck and call, but at least make sometime in a day (or 2 as this was) to use her phone and just check in and make sure I am okay. Have spoken to my friends and they seem to think it's a bit quick to break it off and try and give a go. Also, family members that haven't yet met her were also quite inquisitive today and was quite an awkward conversation at times with having to drag up photos of her and being told that she's lovely, asking how we met, said that Xmas presents (wallet) was nice and must have been really expensive, all that kind of shit and that she obviously must think a lot of me.. and that there will soon be wedding bells! My cousin even started making plans for a big family drinking session (weird, thought this was what we were at today) where everyone gets to meet her.
  11. No explanation at all other than she was in bed. Yet had been on Facebook and tagging people in shit, and had been online Whatsapp when I checked the message status at one stage tonight. Just said that she'd been in bed. Seeing as one of the messages was sent at 5pm yesterday, and she wasn't in bed when I went around at 6pm tonight... She's a nice person in general, but when in a disagreement, has been quite nasty and vile. Whether she actually offers up something more on Wednesday, then maybe who knows? Not sure I'll be that soft, but for the time being I can't be bothered with this with everything else going on. I may want some companionship tomorrow, fuck knows. I can't see that she'll offer anything else up. It is a medical condition that she gets tired, but as said above, seems a bit far fetched for her to have been in bed all that time when I saw her she was in the upstairs bedroom - not even hers - looking through the window. We have no friends in common, so not fussed on who she tells about what. Her family are nice and I think we got along well, so I can't see that she can spin things too much. Hopefully she will understand that it's not the best way to go about things when there's stuff going on that is already a hard thing to deal with. I have already said as much tonight to her since the original message.
  12. So, organised to meet up on Wednesday and will break it off then. Rather do it in person than over text. Think she knows what's coming as I just suggested Costa which is a five minute walk away for each of us. I just use this as guidance, Melty. Have an idea in my head at times, just would like confirmation that it's the right thing to do.
  13. Yes, she's been on Facebook / Whatsapp all day, so not exactly buying the line I'm going to receive when I reply... Which will be that she has a medical condition for her tiredness. Which, is actually true. There's been a few points where we've had words - think four months you generally have something to disagree over, but always come out rosy but have had me thinking that she isn't the nicest of people. And Nelly, I am tending to agree.
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